Trying to be NICE and FUNNY: May 2009

The IPL season came and got over. The Deccan Chargers won the trophy defeating Royal Challengers. A remarkable feat achieved by both the teams, considering they were No.8 and No.7 in the last edition. Hats off to Adam " Gilly " Gilchrist to have led his team from depths to the heights of glory.
We Indians love to analyse and comment on anything and everything under the sun. Having knowledge, understanding or even the authority, just don't matter. So being a true Indian, I am analysing the just concluded IPL in South Africa.
I am enumerating, my views of the event...Not just the cricket, a wee bit more than that.

1. The tussle between IPL governing body and the GOI over hosting of matches during the Elections gave the necessary impetus to the tournament, even before the opening ceremony began. Whatever one may say, the stand taken by Home Minister Chidambaram is praise-worthy.He in a 'no-nonsense' kind of approach spelt the priorities of the government right. "Chidu mama, your esteem has gone up in my eyes". Altough Lalit Modi and his team cried spoil-sport, it actually turned out to be a 'win win' situation for all.

2. Mr Lalit Modi, taking the IPL to South Africa was a " MASTERSTROKE" (no Mr. Mallya does not pay me, Sir). But getting everyone from the peanut-seller to the President of South Africa, to sing your praise, was absolutely boring publicity. Actually , I must say, it was a bad attempt at self-praise. Everyone from the spectators, the Cheer-girls (boy some of them were awesome),to the commentators , the camera-men, all were roped into this big "Praise Lalit Modi" campaign. That was a bit over the hill Mr.Modi. But nothing to suggest, anything derogatory about your organising skills. IPL is the best sporting event out of India. Simply put--"Grandeur Personified".

3. Shah Rukh Khan, the great SRK was 'well and truly' grounded. His team the 'KOLKATA KNIGHT RIDERS' was about anything and everything, but Cricket. The whole team seemed to hate winning. Poor fellows, they were a confused lot, thanks to all the antics on and off the field by their owner and coach. Poor Buchanan, he rubbed the Bengalis, the wrong way. He took on Dada....The 'Living Pride' of Bengal and Kolkata. I am not sure, if he would return back next year. But if he has to, wearing a 'Burkha', would not be a bad idea at all. Its better to be safe than be sorry. I guess the string of defeats in the early stages brought out the patriotism in King Khan and he returned to India, to caste his ballot. I really wonder, if that would have happened...if his team had been winning (and that's a big IF). My guess is as good as yours.

4. Mumbai Indians was the team I rooted for. As every Mumbaikar, I also wanted my team to be champs. But they disappointed big time.A friend opined, that the MIs were so near, yet so far. On the contrary, "they were never near and so they are far".Being No.7 is probably justified. They never seemed to learn from their mistakes. Loosing a match or two in close finishes is understandable, but at regular intervals and that too crucial ones, really did them in. Their temperament was suspect. Mumbai Indians had all the 'IDEA' on their jerseys, rather their brains. I am a great fan of Sachin. He is the best thing to have happened to Cricket. But, let's face it, he is not a great captain. He is an emotional man, and that doesn't help. Also as they say, "the captain is as good as his team". Except Duminy and Malinga nobody really stood out. Injured Zaheer,patchy Bajji and woefully out-of-form Jayasurya did not help matters. Sachin did not have the luxury of good domestic players. The Rajes, Takawales and the Kulkarnis were grossly inconsistent. Nayar and Rahane were good at times, but lacked big match temperament. Mrs.Nita Ambani should be poaching, the hit Mumbaikars playing in other teams.. Sorry this team did not stand up to the Mumbaikar spirit of ' never say die'. But take heart boys.You along with KKR have the best chance to lift the title next year.......Deccan Chargers and Royal Challengers should be the inspiration.

5. My all time favourites are the Rajasthan Royals. Though they were champions last year, they were still not considered the favourites this year. That's what I like about this team.They thrive being the 'UNDERDOGS'.It's somewhat romantic to watch them play.."Rags To Riches" kind of team. None give them a chance, but they still upset many a applecart.....Remember the Super-over. I think that's when the Knight Riders lost the plot.Under Warnie's excellent and inspiring leadership, this team just backs its ability and marches ahead. Enjoying all moments of the game seems to their sole motto.Shane Warne can teach many, lessons in Men-management.

6.Delhi Daredevils must be feeling cheated. If any team really deserved to be in the finals, it was them. The consistency shown by them is unmatched. But they didn't prepare for that TORNADO named GILY...Again how can anyone prepare against the TSUNAMI? The way they were going in the tournament, only a inspired innings could have done them in. That's precisely, what Gilchrist did.The best T-20 innings I have ever seen. Dilli wallo, dil chota na karo....You played excellent cricket through out.But but But....I did find a touch of arrogance in their attitude during the later half of the tourney. Maybe, it was because of their position on the table.

7. MSD's Chennai Superkings played well, but didn't deserve to win the tournament. The reason is simple-this team depended on individual performances. If not for Hayden and Raina, they wouldn't have reached the Semi-Final. The old horse Hayden-it's always a treat to watch him whack the ball. He is such a clean hitter! Raina was magnificent through out. His bowling skills surprised me. The form of these two , helped Chennai sail through. Yes, can't forget Jakati. He has good temperament and bowled excellently. All other bowlers lacked penetration. That includes the great Muralitharan. And yes, Chennai Superkings were in the running for the " Most Catches Dropped" award, but the Knight Riders pipped them to the post.

8. Yuvi and his band of Punjabis, seemed like a poor cousin of their last year's excellent outfit. They never seemed to be a threat to any team, this season. Yuvi was patchy in performance but high on attitude. I guess they missed Shaun Marsh dearly. Others in the team did nothing much, so as to write about it. The Punjabis were more in news due to their owners, than their players. Ness and Priety split during the tourney (did I hear the word HUGZZZZZZZZZ somewhere?).They had to go all the way to South Africa to realise that they were not meant for each other..Great. Well poor Ness and his friend (that Dabur guy)got beaten the shit out of them. They must have forgotten that they were in South Africa and not in India (they could get away with eve-teasing here).........@#$&%$#.
How can I write about King's XI and not mention Sreeshanth ? This fellow never seems to be out of controversies. This time taking on "big" Matt Hayden....Avishyam Undo da Mone?????? Courtsey FIP blog he has a new nick name....."APPAM CHUTIYA", and a good one at that......Made him famous.

9. " Cometh the hour, cometh the man". What more can be said about Anil "Jumbo" Kumble? He simply adores challenges. KP leaving the team was boon in disguise for the Bangalore outfit. Mr. Mallya, you searched everywhere, but never looked within. And when you did, look what you found. 5 for 5 in the opening match lifted the morale of a jaded team and 4 for 16 in the final almost won them the title. Taking on Gilly in the opening over in the finals and getting him out for a duck.....simply mind boggling..."Anil bhai you and only you could have done it". Unfortunately for them, some of their batsmen failed to deliver consistently and that hurt them dearly in the end. But must mention Ross Taylor and Manish Tiwari in here. I really liked their approach.
Mr Mallya, your team deserves more than a few cans of Beer... Actually they deserve the world. HIC HIC HURRAY!!!!!!!!

10. Team Hyderabad......'Tuma Log tho Jashn manatha honga'. This team deserved to win. They performed well as a team. Not to mention Gilly and his leadership.Whenever they lost a game, the team lost and whenever they won, the team won. Thats the hallmark of this team. RP Singh - you "Smiling Assasin". I am big fan of this lad from UP. The smile on his face, when he comes in to bowl (especially in the death overs)must have brought shivers down the spine of many. Prgyan Ojha was another notable contributor. He was just there, when the team needed him. Then that "Cavalier" Rohit Sharma. The best finisher amongst all teams. Taking a hatrick against Mumbai, his home team....was cruel. But he played excellent cricket through out. He has splendid attitude and he is the big match man, India always wanted.I hope Mrs Ambani buys him back to Mumbai. I really want her to. Venu, Suman, Harmeet, Symonds all chipped in. In short this team was a perfect "HYDERABADI HUNDI BIRYANI".

11. The SET MAX team was mediocore. Mandira looked horrible in her new hair do and add to it the poky shoulder bones...yuck. "Mandira was it an attempt to save yourselves from the SHARKS". And please please for GOD's sake don't do shows with Rameez Raja....won't say further. Mieyang Chang, you are better off singing. I loved Sivamani playing in the stadiums. The "Miss Bollywood" contestants......will they really get work in Mumbai, Mr Modi?.........???????? That pap re pap re sound created by the DJs in the stadiums were irritating.
Thanks to the sponsorship by Dr Mallya's UB group, every player from all the teams looked like "CHALTA PHIRTA WINE SHOP". Thanks to DLF a sixer has become a "DLF Maximum"...and so on and so forth. Marketing at its heights and add to it the 'Strategy Breaks'. What more can you ask for?

In the final analysis all teams displayed good cricket. The fact that all teams were in with a chance to make it to the semi-finals until the last week of the tournament, speaks well about each team (yeah yeah, I have not considered KKR). The tournament was well organised. The Super Over was a great new addition. The Cracker show was excellent.In the end all had fun and all made money and more money and money and more money (except the cricket lovers on the streets)

Any difference off opinions or add-ons and comments most welcome.

JAI HO Indian Voters. All those people whoever thought, Indian electorate are not politically mature (including your's truly) have been forced to sit back and introspect. Such a decisive mandate for the Congress led UPA, has surprised everyone, from the poll pundits, the political analyists, etc. and even the voters themselves. My gut feeling is that even Sonia Gandhi might not have expected such an over-whelming support.
All the psephologists and the eccentric-hyperactive TV jurnos, who predicted chaos and instability can eat humble pie. BJP's slogan of "Nirnayak Sarkar, Majboot Neta" seems to have gone down well with the electorate. Only difference was they did not find BJP and NDA worth a try.
The best part of this mandate is that, the government can work peacefully. Non of the de-stabilizing jokers can push and pull or bully the PM. Whether Left, Right or Centre, all have been shown their real worth. Good bye to the Lalus and Mulayams and Karats and Behenjis and Ammas. And special congratulations to the people of Hajipur, to have made Ram Vilas Paswan bite the dust. Come to think of it, he has always been a Cabinet Minister in every government since 1996..be it a NDA one or a UPA one. How more oppurtunistic can one get. Thank God this time he and his party drew a blank. This is where I say that Indian Democracy has come of age. The rampant molestation and abuse of power by these regional parties needed to be arrested. That's exactly what this mandate has done. Stability and Governance is the message by the masses. Congress would do better, if they understand the writing on the wall. And yes, they are here, not because they are the best, but because they are better than the rest.
As far as the BJP and NDA are concerned, I always thought they never had any agenda worth its salt. Projecting a Octagenarian Advani as young and happening(they just stopped, short of, making him wear a jeans and T), hyping upon Hindutva etc. did not work with the voters. And yeah they had Modi....the star. I think Modi is much over-rated leader in India. He might be good for Gujrat, but his style of insulting opponents and calling them names is outrageously cheap. This is not a quality, attributable to a statesman.
All said and done.....the onus is on Congress and Dr Manmohan Singh to deliver.
Congratulations and All the very best.

Trying to be NICE and FUNNY

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

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Monday, May 18, 2009

Mandate For Stability

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The First one

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