These days I am mulling on doing a course in Management.With this intent I have been surfing the net, to get information on courses and institutes. While doing so I found this little piece.......Its called "5 MINUTES MANAGEMENT COURSE". I liked it and so thought should post it..
Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story - If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'Moral of the story Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also> sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.....
Who says getting an MBA is tough......
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Dawn
Today morning I was standing at my balcony and watching the majestic SUN rising in the far east. Just the other day I was cribbing about the boring routines of my life. "How Monotonous" I said yesterday. I was finding everything boring and useless. But when I saw the sun today.......I realised, how wrong was I ?...
Wasn't the sun rising daily from the east. And It has been doing so since the world existed. Has it ever said. "HOW BORING, HOW MONOTONOUS".
It laid to rest all my reservations and prompted me to continue with my routine...
Mahakavi KALIDASA once said....
"Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn! Look to this Day! For it is Life, the very Life of Life. In its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your Existence. The Bliss of Growth, The Glory of Action, The Splendor of Beauty; For Yesterday is but a Dream, And To-morrow is only a Vision; But To-day well lived makes Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope. Look well therefore to this Day! Such is the Salutation of the Dawn! "
Wasn't the sun rising daily from the east. And It has been doing so since the world existed. Has it ever said. "HOW BORING, HOW MONOTONOUS".
It laid to rest all my reservations and prompted me to continue with my routine...
Mahakavi KALIDASA once said....
"Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn! Look to this Day! For it is Life, the very Life of Life. In its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your Existence. The Bliss of Growth, The Glory of Action, The Splendor of Beauty; For Yesterday is but a Dream, And To-morrow is only a Vision; But To-day well lived makes Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope. Look well therefore to this Day! Such is the Salutation of the Dawn! "
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Canine Terrorism
Today I had to reach my office very early in the morning. I had to reach there, at a 03:00 am. I usually cover the 08 kms distance, to my office on my scooter. But driving at this unearthly hour is very rare.
The road is generally dark and deserted at this time of the night. All you will find are dogs everywhere. I call them "The Sentinels Of The Streets". These mongrels, who seem so timid and wretched in the mornings, are just as ferocious when the nocturnal chimes sounds. And they do look menacing enough, when the head-lights of the vehicle hits their eyes.
Having previous experience of, these kind of situations doesn't really help. It is still as scary as the first time (I have done this quite a few times). Today was no different. I went out of the house, with a prayer on my lips. Hoping against hope that all those canine lords are miraculously drugged or something. I reached my garage, opened it with minimum fuss, rolled out my vehicle, put it back on stand and went to close the garage door. All the while fearing for my dear life. I was trying to be mobile as fast as I could, before getting into the line of sight of any of those marauders lurking in the dark. Luckily, I started my scooter without much ado and the moment the engine revved up, there started the series of barks and howls from all directions. Before loosing my orientation, I put my vehicle into gear and just sped. From my past experiences, I have learnt that going slowly is like playing into their hands. They just jump at you and dis-balance you. Once you fall down, then its just Game, Set and Match to Mr. Dog or a Miss. Bitch. So, speeding up and being faster than these animals is your only bet. That's exactly what I did! Here I must thank my partner - MY LML Vespa scooter, for it has never betrayed me in those tricky moments. These fellas are great athletes. They follow you with all their swiftness. The sight of a open jawed dog, with its tongue out and following you.......it still gives me goosebumps. These creatures have another strange behavioural pattern. A single dog will follow you only until a point. From then on another takes over, so on and so forth. A sort of relay race, with you being the baton to be exchanged. Without any effective 'Family Planning Programmes' in place, you do have to confront many of them. So there I was racing for my life, unmindful of all the bumps and potholes on the road(and there are very many of them). You have to be watchful, as to where from the next raid is going to take place. Somehow, today i reached my office, without any mishaps. It took me only 06 minutes, to reach there (it takes about 10 to 12 minutes normally). I parked my scooter, went to the cooler. I just needed that glass of water, to cool my nerves...
The road is generally dark and deserted at this time of the night. All you will find are dogs everywhere. I call them "The Sentinels Of The Streets". These mongrels, who seem so timid and wretched in the mornings, are just as ferocious when the nocturnal chimes sounds. And they do look menacing enough, when the head-lights of the vehicle hits their eyes.
Having previous experience of, these kind of situations doesn't really help. It is still as scary as the first time (I have done this quite a few times). Today was no different. I went out of the house, with a prayer on my lips. Hoping against hope that all those canine lords are miraculously drugged or something. I reached my garage, opened it with minimum fuss, rolled out my vehicle, put it back on stand and went to close the garage door. All the while fearing for my dear life. I was trying to be mobile as fast as I could, before getting into the line of sight of any of those marauders lurking in the dark. Luckily, I started my scooter without much ado and the moment the engine revved up, there started the series of barks and howls from all directions. Before loosing my orientation, I put my vehicle into gear and just sped. From my past experiences, I have learnt that going slowly is like playing into their hands. They just jump at you and dis-balance you. Once you fall down, then its just Game, Set and Match to Mr. Dog or a Miss. Bitch. So, speeding up and being faster than these animals is your only bet. That's exactly what I did! Here I must thank my partner - MY LML Vespa scooter, for it has never betrayed me in those tricky moments. These fellas are great athletes. They follow you with all their swiftness. The sight of a open jawed dog, with its tongue out and following you.......it still gives me goosebumps. These creatures have another strange behavioural pattern. A single dog will follow you only until a point. From then on another takes over, so on and so forth. A sort of relay race, with you being the baton to be exchanged. Without any effective 'Family Planning Programmes' in place, you do have to confront many of them. So there I was racing for my life, unmindful of all the bumps and potholes on the road(and there are very many of them). You have to be watchful, as to where from the next raid is going to take place. Somehow, today i reached my office, without any mishaps. It took me only 06 minutes, to reach there (it takes about 10 to 12 minutes normally). I parked my scooter, went to the cooler. I just needed that glass of water, to cool my nerves...
Monday, June 1, 2009
Back to work
Yesterday I left Mumbai, to get back to my place of work in the North-east.
Though I have been doing it for almost 18 years now, it was different this time.
It was the first time I left home in my Father's absence. For the first time I had to leave home without touching my father's feet. A father whose blessings always gave me the inner strength to face the rigours of my professional life. The feeling that he is solidly behind me is no longer there. Achhan, I feel alone and vulnerable without you. I couldn't bear to look into my mother's eyes, for I was sure, that tears would roll down my eyes. But I am not supposed to cry.........No more Kutti-kali, alle Achha.
Though I have been doing it for almost 18 years now, it was different this time.
It was the first time I left home in my Father's absence. For the first time I had to leave home without touching my father's feet. A father whose blessings always gave me the inner strength to face the rigours of my professional life. The feeling that he is solidly behind me is no longer there. Achhan, I feel alone and vulnerable without you. I couldn't bear to look into my mother's eyes, for I was sure, that tears would roll down my eyes. But I am not supposed to cry.........No more Kutti-kali, alle Achha.
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